About Me and Author Robert Kabacy, Esq. - Part 2

Welcome back to the genesis of About Me. 

Recall the last blog, I had just arrived at my mom’s home after receiving that call no one ever wants to receive, that she had passed. I will never forget the moment I walked into the room and saw her body, laying there, but without spirit or life, just a shell. The empty feeling I anticipated suddenly became real and something I had to address right then and there. It was not something I wanted to do, but something I knew I had to do.

I went back to the kitchen and started consoling her husband, my stepfather, who also has since passed. We waited for the funeral home staff to arrive and do their thing—taking the body away, which kicked off the barrage of paperwork that was to come over the administration process.

After sitting in silence for a period of time, I went to go get the 3-ring binder to see what was next to do. However, I just let it sit there in front of me. The feelings and emotions were overwhelming to the point of being frozen as if I had just looked Medusa in the eye. Rather than jump into lawyer mode, I chose to just be with my stepfather and call some close relatives and work on practical matters the next day. That night was horrible. I was here. My wife was here. My child was here. My mother was not. It seemed surreal after leaving her home to return to my own. I can’t imagine what her husband must have been feeling but likely much worse than me in an empty and quiet house.

After making several calls and starting to arrange matters, the lulls of waiting for call backs to take the next steps started. I could tell that it would not be wrapped up all at once but would take time. Before I knew it, 5 pm rolled around. We forget that many services still shut down around 5 pm and as 6 and 7 pm approached, I realized that during the day, I could be busy. But at night when things are shut down, my mind raced, and despite trying to plan for the next day, I was left with emptiness. 

Once again, the binder helped. Near the back, my mom had written some kind words. I was able to work through and re-familiarize myself with what we created and what she added after the fact to help me through the process. Having the ability to read and distract myself in the evening time was a great comfort. It was as if I again had a semblance of control in a situation that I truly had no control over. Going to sleep that night was again hard, and to this day, many evenings I think of her and all of the others that have passed.

Next time, we will discuss the genesis of Last Wishes, which evolved into About Me.

~ Robert Kabacy, Esq.

Lawyer and Author of About Me: Information You Will Need to Know When I’ve Passed