First Date – Signs that Say “Move Forward”

Dr. Craig Martin is an interfaith minister, celebrity astrologer, and author of a wonderful guide to relationships, Elemental Love Signs. Here is a recent post from his blog. So, you’re out with someone new and you’re really liking them – you can feel the hot coming off of you – and you just want to dive in and get some more. This is a sure sign of first date success, right? Well, maybe. If you’re looking for a one night stand, it could be. But if you’re looking for something more, well, there should be a few other signs in place. What are they? Firstly, really liking someone is a good sign. Feeling attracted is important and it’s certainly better than disinterest. But, that feeling of attraction is not what makes a relationship work. The best sign for a great date is being able to feel like yourself. If you can sit with someone and enjoy their company, that’s the best sign. Do they make you laugh? How are you connecting? Are you hiding who you are or do you really feel at ease with them? The process of “getting to know someone” which follows the first date, only happens if you have a foundation of comfortability. We all have a lot of feelings when we meet someone new. Many times there is uneasiness, intimidation, shyness, or self-consciousness. These feelings are normal, and to some degree they mean that you want to be liked. But when you have to alter who you are in order to be liked, that’s when a problem begins. And if it begins on the first date, it will carry on as a problem throughout the whole relationship. When you’re out with the “right” one, you’ll feel like you can be yourself. Sure, you may have feelings of uneasiness, but they will soon dissipate as you realize that you are being liked for who you are, and not for what you could pretend to be. The truly meaningful and successful relationship you’re looking for will grow from that connection. Only then can you feel safe enough to get your needs met, and meet your partner’s needs as well. Feeling like you can really be yourself with that new date? Full speed ahead! Read more from Dr. Craig Martin at his blog and learn to develop real, authentic relationships with his book Elemental Love Styles.