by John Gray PhD

Reblogged with permission from marsvenus.com

Yes, I wrote it. Your partner cannot make you happy.

He or she can make you happier, but he or she cannot make you happy. Your happiness comes from within you. It's based on your own self-love. Your partner provides the dessert to make you feel better than you ever knew but they do not form your happiness.

Many people misread their partner's actions as a sign of the mood they are in. Men naturally need to pull away to rebuild their testosterone and relieve stress. Women need to talk and express feelings to feel connected and relieve stress.

The key is to have a great understanding of your partner's mood changes and your partner's needs for mood balance. Even more important, is understanding what you need to balance your mood effectively. There are several things that you can do to feel happy and fulfilled in your own life, with or without a partner.


Hang out with happy people

Make an effort to spend more time with the most positive people in your life while avoiding complainers, pessimists, and naysayers. Researchers from Europe proved humans transfer negative emotions such as fear and disgust to each other through certain chemical odors found in human sweat. At the same time, they discovered that happiness can be transferred to others by means of smell.

Reinforce your friendships

There have been many studies that show the correlation between strong social ties and happiness. Basically, just let your friends know you are thinking of them. Send them text messages for no reason besides saying hello. Mail them postcards when you are traveling. Call them on their birthdays. And be there for them, offering your support, in good times and bad times.

Value your body

There is a direct correlation between happiness and exercise, adequate sleep, and a healthy diet. Check out my blogs on nutrition, better sleep and start each day with 15 minutes of bounce and shake to lift your spirits at the start of each day.

Have frequent, monogamous sex

There have been many studies that show people who have frequent high-quality sex with the same person are happier. At the same time, these studies have shown how people who cheat and engage in extramarital sex are less happy.

Build experiences, not stuff

I often say that your life is about your relationships and your health. The rest is just stuff. However, what kinds of experiences help to increase yru happiness may depend on your age. Researchers have found that younger people tend to define happiness in terms of states of high arousal, and get their bliss from doing extraordinary things like skydiving. Older people receive more enjoyment from ordinary pleasures like an affectionate embrace from a loved one, or a cold drink on a hot day. The researchers concluded that when people believe they have less time in life, their threshold for happiness is lower.


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